Sunday, April 19, 2009
"Going Down In Flames"
Don't tell me what to think
Cause I don't care this time
Don't tell me what to believe
Cause you won't be there
To catch me when I fall
But you'll need me when I'm not here at all
Miss me when I'm gone again, yeah
I'm going down in flames
I'm falling into this again, yeah
I'm going down in flames
I'm falling into this again
Don't tell me how life is
Cause I don't really want to know
Don't tell me how this game ends
Cause we'll just see how it goes
Catch me when I fall
Or you'll need me when I'm not here at all
Miss me when I'm gone again, yeah
I'm going down in flames
I'm falling into this again, yeah
I'm going down in flames
I'm falling into this again, yeah
Now, I'm all the way down here
I'm falling
I'm all the way down here
I'm falling down again
I'm falling down
I'm falling down
I'm falling down
I'm going down in flames
I'm falling into this again,
I'm going down in flames
I'm falling into this again
Now, I'm all the way down here
I'm falling
All the way
All the way down here
I'm falling down again now I'm falling down
Monday, March 30, 2009
Chicago
I can't even begin to describe how GOOD the Chicago trip was this year.
It was exactly what i needed, when i needed it.
A chance to get away, a chance to build friendships that i already had, as well as new ones, and a chance to be carefree for a little while.
Its helped me come back for this last part of the semester with a whole new attitude!
SUCH a good trip!
It was exactly what i needed, when i needed it.
A chance to get away, a chance to build friendships that i already had, as well as new ones, and a chance to be carefree for a little while.
Its helped me come back for this last part of the semester with a whole new attitude!
SUCH a good trip!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
"You give and take away"
*** This is a post I started on January 14th, and never finished. It is amazing to see how my journey this semester started, and where I am at now that it is spring break. Its very much the same. but also very different. I think its now time i finish this post.*****
January 14th, 2009:
In chapel today, we sang "Blessed Be Your Name". It has always been one of my favorite songs; its pure worship, its a song that you can sing and apply no matter what you are facing, and its just plain catchy.
And this morning, it is exactly what I needed to hear and sing.
Over break, and even these first few days of school, I've been having a hard time. I have a lot of anxiety, fear, and confusion in my life. I have been letting these plagues rule my life and make decisions for me. I've been victimizing myself because I am not getting exactly what I want.
****************************************
March 6th, 2009
Its hard to think back over this first half of the semester. I am amazed at how quickly it has seemed to pass by. It has been so full of heartbreak, stress, and anxiety, but it has also been filled with joy, hope, and love. The very best, most precious gifts always seem to come in the hardest, most trying, and emotional times.
The hardest thing i've been dealing with this semester is mood swings. I am in such a confused state of mind. I get angry because a boy broke my heart at the worst possible time. and yet i'm thankful that he did break my heart because if he were still a major part of my life, i would not have reached out to two guys who have been the best christian brothers i could ever ask for. I'm trying SO HARD to fully trust in God and to know that he is going to take care of me no matter what happens, but i am at the same time SO MAD that my dad is sick. I am so terrified at the idea of looking for a job and eventually graduating, but theres another part of me that cannot WAIT to get away and get into a new social environment.
All of this conflict is making me insane. My mood will completely change based on one look, one word, or a minor change in the weather (which in arkansas, are more frequent than i'd like). I'm having a hard time dealing with myself, and i can't imagine what it must be like for my friends.
Anyways, Thats where i'm at right now. I ask for prayers for peace and understanding. For health, spring break travel, and of thanksgiving for all the blessings that God pours out.
love.
January 14th, 2009:
In chapel today, we sang "Blessed Be Your Name". It has always been one of my favorite songs; its pure worship, its a song that you can sing and apply no matter what you are facing, and its just plain catchy.
And this morning, it is exactly what I needed to hear and sing.
Over break, and even these first few days of school, I've been having a hard time. I have a lot of anxiety, fear, and confusion in my life. I have been letting these plagues rule my life and make decisions for me. I've been victimizing myself because I am not getting exactly what I want.
****************************************
March 6th, 2009
Its hard to think back over this first half of the semester. I am amazed at how quickly it has seemed to pass by. It has been so full of heartbreak, stress, and anxiety, but it has also been filled with joy, hope, and love. The very best, most precious gifts always seem to come in the hardest, most trying, and emotional times.
The hardest thing i've been dealing with this semester is mood swings. I am in such a confused state of mind. I get angry because a boy broke my heart at the worst possible time. and yet i'm thankful that he did break my heart because if he were still a major part of my life, i would not have reached out to two guys who have been the best christian brothers i could ever ask for. I'm trying SO HARD to fully trust in God and to know that he is going to take care of me no matter what happens, but i am at the same time SO MAD that my dad is sick. I am so terrified at the idea of looking for a job and eventually graduating, but theres another part of me that cannot WAIT to get away and get into a new social environment.
All of this conflict is making me insane. My mood will completely change based on one look, one word, or a minor change in the weather (which in arkansas, are more frequent than i'd like). I'm having a hard time dealing with myself, and i can't imagine what it must be like for my friends.
Anyways, Thats where i'm at right now. I ask for prayers for peace and understanding. For health, spring break travel, and of thanksgiving for all the blessings that God pours out.
love.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
20x200
I was perusing Domino Magazine, which was my christmas present from Kara and Jerry, and I found this FANTASTIC website!
It is called 20x200 and it is "Art for Everyone"
They post new art every day, and the prices are structured thus:
For $20, you can get one of an edition of 200 that is 8.5"x11".
For $200, you get a slightly bigger version from a run of 20
and for $2000 you get the largest size from a run of 2
$20 for real art!
can't beat that!!
It is called 20x200 and it is "Art for Everyone"
They post new art every day, and the prices are structured thus:
For $20, you can get one of an edition of 200 that is 8.5"x11".
For $200, you get a slightly bigger version from a run of 20
and for $2000 you get the largest size from a run of 2
$20 for real art!
can't beat that!!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
MANY THE MILES
There's too many things that i haven't done yet
Too many sunsets
I haven't seen
You can't waste the day wishing it'd slow down
You would've thought by now
I'd have learned something
I made up my mind when i was a young girl
I've been given this one world
I won't worry it away
But now and again i lose sight of the good life
I get stuck in a low light
But then Love comes in
How far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles
Many the miles
How far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles
But send me the miles and i'll be happy to follow you Love
I do what i can wherever i end up
To keep giving my good love
And spreading it around
Cause i've had my fair share of take care and goodbyes
I've learned how to cry
And i'm better for that
Sing how far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles
Many the miles
How far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles
Send me the miles and i'll be happy to
Follow you Love
Red letter day and i'm in a blue mood
Wishing that blue would just carry me away
I've been talking to God don't know
If it's helping or not
But surely something has got to got to got to give
Cause i can't keep waiting to live
How far do i have to go to get to you?
Many the miles
Many the miles
How far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles
But send me the miles and i'll be happy to yeah
How far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles
Many the miles
How far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles
Many the miles
Been talking to God don't know if it's helping or not
Many the miles
Many the miles
How far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles
Many the miles
Oh send me the miles and i'll be happy to
Follow you Love
There's too many things i haven't done yet
Too many sunsets i haven't seen
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
"with a delicate soul, i don't claim to know much"
And the craziest semester ever comes to an end.
I feel like this has become a tradition - reflecting at the end of every semester. But i'm thinking its a pretty good tradition to have.
Where do i even begin?
Classes- insanely hard. probably the hardest load i have had yet, and will have. and yes, i totally conquered them. (more or less)
But really, even though classes took up pretty much all of my time, i don't think that they are how i will remember the semester.
This was the first fall semester where i did not everyday see my hope slipping away from me. That ability to maintain hope has made all the difference.
Confidence has also made a huge difference.
i have SO much to be thankful for.
I have one of the greatest teachers at Harding teaching in my major. Her encouragement, honesty, criticism, compassion, kindness, love, passion, and drive is inspiring.
Living in the same dorm with my closest friends has been huge. Even though i've had a terrible living situation, being able to go to their apartment ALL THE TIME has been a HUGE blessing. I am so thankful that i have friends that love me enough to not care when i show up for hours and hours on end because i am bored, or because i need to study, or just need to get away. they are amazing.
That, along with movie nights almost every week, and pizza parties, and little rock adventures. These are the things i will cherish forever.
The semester started out with a stressful and painful end to a friendship that i had hoped would last for a long time. But the confrontation gave me confidence and strength i could have never found elsewhere. It also taught me something about myself that has been key this semester.
I have learned so much about myself. It's unbelievable.
Taking speech with Dr. Garner has honestly changed my life. Seems a little weird that COMO 101 could be life changing, but it has changed the way i understand myself and others. It gives me enough understanding to be patient with the people who are different from me.
At Harding it is SO easy to get bitter. It is so easy to be bitter about relationships. The one thing that i learned from the confrontation i faced at the beginning of the year is that i need time. Harding seems to speed up the dating process to a pace that i just cannot handle. I can't keep up with it. I can't keep up with a guy who wants me to be perfect. I can't keep up with a guy who won't spend time really getting to know me, but is always keeping one eye out for the next best thing.
Instead of falling into the mentality that is obsessed with getting married before graduating, i need to be taking time making friends, learning to love everyone, and serving.
Forget the rush
I'm spending my time building real, lasting relationships.
I have become a member of the most amazing club on campus. enough said.
I feel older.
maybe a little bit wiser.
and a whole lot happier.
Essentially: this is the first semester i have not had an all-consuming bitterness take hold of my heart.
Its beautiful.
hardest semester = best yet.
I feel like this has become a tradition - reflecting at the end of every semester. But i'm thinking its a pretty good tradition to have.
Where do i even begin?
Classes- insanely hard. probably the hardest load i have had yet, and will have. and yes, i totally conquered them. (more or less)
But really, even though classes took up pretty much all of my time, i don't think that they are how i will remember the semester.
This was the first fall semester where i did not everyday see my hope slipping away from me. That ability to maintain hope has made all the difference.
Confidence has also made a huge difference.
i have SO much to be thankful for.
I have one of the greatest teachers at Harding teaching in my major. Her encouragement, honesty, criticism, compassion, kindness, love, passion, and drive is inspiring.
Living in the same dorm with my closest friends has been huge. Even though i've had a terrible living situation, being able to go to their apartment ALL THE TIME has been a HUGE blessing. I am so thankful that i have friends that love me enough to not care when i show up for hours and hours on end because i am bored, or because i need to study, or just need to get away. they are amazing.
That, along with movie nights almost every week, and pizza parties, and little rock adventures. These are the things i will cherish forever.
The semester started out with a stressful and painful end to a friendship that i had hoped would last for a long time. But the confrontation gave me confidence and strength i could have never found elsewhere. It also taught me something about myself that has been key this semester.
I have learned so much about myself. It's unbelievable.
Taking speech with Dr. Garner has honestly changed my life. Seems a little weird that COMO 101 could be life changing, but it has changed the way i understand myself and others. It gives me enough understanding to be patient with the people who are different from me.
At Harding it is SO easy to get bitter. It is so easy to be bitter about relationships. The one thing that i learned from the confrontation i faced at the beginning of the year is that i need time. Harding seems to speed up the dating process to a pace that i just cannot handle. I can't keep up with it. I can't keep up with a guy who wants me to be perfect. I can't keep up with a guy who won't spend time really getting to know me, but is always keeping one eye out for the next best thing.
Instead of falling into the mentality that is obsessed with getting married before graduating, i need to be taking time making friends, learning to love everyone, and serving.
Forget the rush
I'm spending my time building real, lasting relationships.
I have become a member of the most amazing club on campus. enough said.
I feel older.
maybe a little bit wiser.
and a whole lot happier.
Essentially: this is the first semester i have not had an all-consuming bitterness take hold of my heart.
Its beautiful.
hardest semester = best yet.
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