Chicago

I can't even begin to describe how GOOD the Chicago trip was this year.
It was exactly what i needed, when i needed it.

A chance to get away, a chance to build friendships that i already had, as well as new ones, and a chance to be carefree for a little while.

Its helped me come back for this last part of the semester with a whole new attitude!





SUCH a good trip!

I'm home!! I'm home!! I'm home!!

and its [relatively] warm out.





:)

"You give and take away"

*** This is a post I started on January 14th, and never finished. It is amazing to see how my journey this semester started, and where I am at now that it is spring break. Its very much the same. but also very different. I think its now time i finish this post.*****


January 14th, 2009:

In chapel today, we sang "Blessed Be Your Name". It has always been one of my favorite songs; its pure worship, its a song that you can sing and apply no matter what you are facing, and its just plain catchy.

And this morning, it is exactly what I needed to hear and sing.

Over break, and even these first few days of school, I've been having a hard time. I have a lot of anxiety, fear, and confusion in my life. I have been letting these plagues rule my life and make decisions for me. I've been victimizing myself because I am not getting exactly what I want.


****************************************

March 6th, 2009

Its hard to think back over this first half of the semester. I am amazed at how quickly it has seemed to pass by. It has been so full of heartbreak, stress, and anxiety, but it has also been filled with joy, hope, and love. The very best, most precious gifts always seem to come in the hardest, most trying, and emotional times.

The hardest thing i've been dealing with this semester is mood swings. I am in such a confused state of mind. I get angry because a boy broke my heart at the worst possible time. and yet i'm thankful that he did break my heart because if he were still a major part of my life, i would not have reached out to two guys who have been the best christian brothers i could ever ask for. I'm trying SO HARD to fully trust in God and to know that he is going to take care of me no matter what happens, but i am at the same time SO MAD that my dad is sick. I am so terrified at the idea of looking for a job and eventually graduating, but theres another part of me that cannot WAIT to get away and get into a new social environment.

All of this conflict is making me insane. My mood will completely change based on one look, one word, or a minor change in the weather (which in arkansas, are more frequent than i'd like). I'm having a hard time dealing with myself, and i can't imagine what it must be like for my friends.


Anyways, Thats where i'm at right now. I ask for prayers for peace and understanding. For health, spring break travel, and of thanksgiving for all the blessings that God pours out.

love.

20x200

I was perusing Domino Magazine, which was my christmas present from Kara and Jerry, and I found this FANTASTIC website!

It is called 20x200 and it is "Art for Everyone"

They post new art every day, and the prices are structured thus:
For $20, you can get one of an edition of 200 that is 8.5"x11".
For $200, you get a slightly bigger version from a run of 20
and for $2000 you get the largest size from a run of 2

$20 for real art!

can't beat that!!

MANY THE MILES

There's too many things that i haven't done yet
Too many sunsets
I haven't seen
You can't waste the day wishing it'd slow down
You would've thought by now
I'd have learned something

I made up my mind when i was a young girl
I've been given this one world
I won't worry it away
But now and again i lose sight of the good life
I get stuck in a low light
But then Love comes in

How far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles
Many the miles
How far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles
But send me the miles and i'll be happy to follow you Love

I do what i can wherever i end up
To keep giving my good love
And spreading it around
Cause i've had my fair share of take care and goodbyes
I've learned how to cry
And i'm better for that

Sing how far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles
Many the miles
How far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles
Send me the miles and i'll be happy to
Follow you Love

Red letter day and i'm in a blue mood
Wishing that blue would just carry me away
I've been talking to God don't know
If it's helping or not
But surely something has got to got to got to give
Cause i can't keep waiting to live

How far do i have to go to get to you?
Many the miles
Many the miles
How far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles
But send me the miles and i'll be happy to yeah
How far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles
Many the miles
How far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles
Many the miles
Been talking to God don't know if it's helping or not
Many the miles
Many the miles
How far do i have to go to get to you
Many the miles
Many the miles
Oh send me the miles and i'll be happy to
Follow you Love

There's too many things i haven't done yet
Too many sunsets i haven't seen

"with a delicate soul, i don't claim to know much"

And the craziest semester ever comes to an end.

I feel like this has become a tradition - reflecting at the end of every semester. But i'm thinking its a pretty good tradition to have.

Where do i even begin?

Classes- insanely hard. probably the hardest load i have had yet, and will have. and yes, i totally conquered them. (more or less)

But really, even though classes took up pretty much all of my time, i don't think that they are how i will remember the semester.

This was the first fall semester where i did not everyday see my hope slipping away from me. That ability to maintain hope has made all the difference.
Confidence has also made a huge difference.

i have SO much to be thankful for.

I have one of the greatest teachers at Harding teaching in my major. Her encouragement, honesty, criticism, compassion, kindness, love, passion, and drive is inspiring.

Living in the same dorm with my closest friends has been huge. Even though i've had a terrible living situation, being able to go to their apartment ALL THE TIME has been a HUGE blessing. I am so thankful that i have friends that love me enough to not care when i show up for hours and hours on end because i am bored, or because i need to study, or just need to get away. they are amazing.
That, along with movie nights almost every week, and pizza parties, and little rock adventures. These are the things i will cherish forever.

The semester started out with a stressful and painful end to a friendship that i had hoped would last for a long time. But the confrontation gave me confidence and strength i could have never found elsewhere. It also taught me something about myself that has been key this semester.

I have learned so much about myself. It's unbelievable.
Taking speech with Dr. Garner has honestly changed my life. Seems a little weird that COMO 101 could be life changing, but it has changed the way i understand myself and others. It gives me enough understanding to be patient with the people who are different from me.

At Harding it is SO easy to get bitter. It is so easy to be bitter about relationships. The one thing that i learned from the confrontation i faced at the beginning of the year is that i need time. Harding seems to speed up the dating process to a pace that i just cannot handle. I can't keep up with it. I can't keep up with a guy who wants me to be perfect. I can't keep up with a guy who won't spend time really getting to know me, but is always keeping one eye out for the next best thing.
Instead of falling into the mentality that is obsessed with getting married before graduating, i need to be taking time making friends, learning to love everyone, and serving.
Forget the rush
I'm spending my time building real, lasting relationships.

I have become a member of the most amazing club on campus. enough said.

I feel older.

maybe a little bit wiser.

and a whole lot happier.



Essentially: this is the first semester i have not had an all-consuming bitterness take hold of my heart.

Its beautiful.













hardest semester = best yet.

Living Stones

1 Peter 2:4-12

As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him— you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. For in Scripture it says:
"See, I lay a stone in Zion,
a chosen and precious cornerstone,
and the one who trusts in him
will never be put to shame." Now to you who believe, this stone is precious. But to those who do not believe,
"The stone the builders rejected
has become the capstone," and,
"A stone that causes men to stumble
and a rock that makes them fall." They stumble because they disobey the message—which is also what they were destined for.

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

Something happened today - I learned a deep, meaningful, and enlightening thing in my History of Architecture and Interior Design class. This is an anomaly partly because I am still half asleep at 8:00am, but also partly because the class is one of those classes that comes straight from the textbook so it feels completely pointless to be present... ESPECIALLY at 8:00am.

But today - my dear professor slipped in a little fact and a Biblical connection that reverberates spiritual truths and enhances my understanding of scripture. A good reminder of just one more valuable aspect of History.

Cave Temples, often found in India, were temples literally carved out of the sides of mountains. They would carve out all the rock leaving open space, and columns which they decorated to keep the mountain from collapsing on top of them.

These columns were referred to as "living stones" because they are still 100% connected with the mountain. There is no seam, no chance of sliding them out, they are an integral part of the mountain which has been carved out to serve a specific purpose. They are a part of the mountain, and yet they are different from the rest of the mountain.

This is EXACTLY what Peter is referring to! It is the imagery he chooses to use to tell his message and allow his listeners to understand on a meaningful and vivid level. And it has so many implications for Christians today, if only we all really knew what a "living stone" really was!

1st level of interpretation:
We are made in the image of God. God has molded us out of himself, here to serve a specific purpose, but still connected to him in the most intimate way. We were made to be a part of him and for him to be all of us, we have not been made to be separate. We have been created in a way that we may have intimate relationship with God.

2nd level of interpretation:
We are a royal priesthood, made to be a part of the world, and yet stand apart from it. We are created to have a purpose that makes us so much different from the rest of the world, and yet be truly in the world and have true, meaningful relationships with other people. We are to be the supports that help a sinful world stand, we are to be a testimony to the power and grace found in Christ. We are a priesthood that intercedes between Christ and the world. It is our responsibility to be the connection to Christ that people need


As Christians, we are inseparable from the world, but should also be inseparable from God. We are the integral connection, it is our responsibility to be the royal priesthood. It is the way we were created.